It's important to acknowledge that whatever pain you experience is important. I've created or used exercises which I often share and hope will be/are helpful for others.
I also recall one thing that was eventually helpful for me was not to fixate on the idea of "getting done" with grief as if it was something I can finish if I try hard enough.
(It took a long and tumultuous time for me to arrive at this point of view so hopefully the insight comes sooner for you, reader.)
Instead, I came to realize that it's important to recognize it exists and engage it when the time seems appropriate. This is like learning the terrain on foot even though you already know what's on the map and roughly when or where it's all at.
I also found I have choices in the density of other experiences and emotions I can engage, and drew a reference from Brian Chesky's account on how for him, the depth of saddening moments didn't change after AirBnB became a success, but the frequency and volatility did (around this mark from a 3 hr fireside chat).
Basically, you can have a role in adjusting--facilitating the density/frequency of your experiences. Sometimes they're subtle but can yield Buckminster Fuller's "trimtab" effect.
I believe--even as someone looking from the outside with limited understanding about your experiences--that when you look at the patterns for what you're doing, you'll see the trajectory is positive even if it's rough and mysterious. In my experience, there's a degree of awe inspiring strength that comes from seeing it clearly which you'll carry forward.
I also recall one thing that was eventually helpful for me was not to fixate on the idea of "getting done" with grief as if it was something I can finish if I try hard enough.
(It took a long and tumultuous time for me to arrive at this point of view so hopefully the insight comes sooner for you, reader.)
Instead, I came to realize that it's important to recognize it exists and engage it when the time seems appropriate. This is like learning the terrain on foot even though you already know what's on the map and roughly when or where it's all at.
I also found I have choices in the density of other experiences and emotions I can engage, and drew a reference from Brian Chesky's account on how for him, the depth of saddening moments didn't change after AirBnB became a success, but the frequency and volatility did (around this mark from a 3 hr fireside chat).
Basically, you can have a role in adjusting--facilitating the density/frequency of your experiences. Sometimes they're subtle but can yield Buckminster Fuller's "trimtab" effect.
I believe--even as someone looking from the outside with limited understanding about your experiences--that when you look at the patterns for what you're doing, you'll see the trajectory is positive even if it's rough and mysterious. In my experience, there's a degree of awe inspiring strength that comes from seeing it clearly which you'll carry forward.
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