Complex PTSD and navigating through it

This article succinctly sums up the arc of my own stumblings in healing in ways that I didn't realize would happen among relatively mainstream sources. Around 2015 was the first time I ever heard of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), and even then it was through a friend who was going through her symptoms from experience that were far worse than what I had. I'm really glad to see more people working through it now, and also people critical about the way that psychology in practice traditionally approaches anxiety, trauma, and depression tends to be inadequate if not completely uninformed.

https://themighty.com/2018/06/anxiety-from-complex-trauma/

Everything from

Literal good grief
The conundrum of compassion
Emotional Numbness

Even with all the reframing and attitude to look beyond some of the ingredients, it's helpful to recognize the patterns to what you're dealing with.

https://themighty.com/2017/08/life-impacting-symptoms-of-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/

Emotion state sketches
Here's a trio of sketches that captured some of the things I felt near or when I was working through them:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t5mlf87Wzqy2EWpq2qp1RwrkA5AJawzXFmCr-0c69OQ/edit?usp=sharing

I was trying to compile whatever guides I came up with a while ago in a way that would make it easy for you to proceed through but struggled to allocate the brain space (or computing capacity) so this is the next best thing--you might need to just run with whatever embedded links are in one of these posts (I think it's the first one) to see how I mapped/linked various things I was working through circa 2014/15 and what I did for intervening with them:

https://lighttelecommunication.blogspot.com/2015/02/an-emotional-list.html

https://lighttelecommunication.blogspot.com/2015/01/coping-with-various-degrees-of-agency.html?m=1

Emotional numbness can feel like a blessing and a curse--it took a long time for me to "be okay" with the feeling. Though it's helped me keep the clearest mind when it was time to pull a friend out of a fight, I sometimes questioned whether I'd be able to be emotionally perceptive when it matters.

​There's a video floating around the internet about a Ukrainian physics professor who started recording his lectures and demonstrations for students who were sick. Interviewed about how he felt knowing that his lectures are now famous worldwide with physics students and aspiring physicists, and how he tries to answer all of their questions. His reply:
"To be understood is to be happy. This makes me happy to know that there are people who want to learn about physics and understand what I'm trying to teach with enthusiasm."
Having shared a meal with dear friends in the North End, I realize this is simultaneously one of those ways and special moments that let you see what's life like to break out--or perhaps more appropriately, grow out, of that numbness.​​


Be well or at least know you're on the path to better.