Coping with tragedy

i humbly reach out today to ask how each of you are dealing with the tragedy facing our world.
in particular, i’m overwhelmed by the Paris attacks, shootings in the U.S., plane bombings, my wife’s mother’s sever depression, Jake’s passing, and the lunacy of Presidential candidates. not to mention the suffering i see and hear in friends and acquaintances on a daily basis.
i’ve lived without a TV and haven't visited News websites for 7 years. recently, i’ve been visiting people with TVs and now i sit in a coffee shop in Upstate NY that’s non-stop “Breaking News” with video of people being carted away on stretchers. i’m getting nauseous and physically overwhelmed by what seems to me a concentration of suffering. is it because i’ve been sensitized by not tuning in everyday? or are others feeling overwhelmed by the seemingly incessant tragedies? are we under attack by fear? how do i cope?
one personal response bubbled up: find a deserted island and move there, build a small compound, and a large wall. y’all can come.
if that’s not probable, what mindsets, practices, inspiration — or lack thereof — do you use daily to grow resilience in this seemingly tragic world?
with love,A

Hi A, Thanks for sharing how you feel and mustering strength to seek support--the key items that really opened my mind and confidence in what people can do despite oppressive or overwhelming circumstances emphasize putting events in the world and what we can do about them into perspective.

Here's a compilation of what I use/developed for myself and often share with others over the years and now up to current events ranging from personal to a broader systems thinking approach:

[personal] 
(1) Embrace an experience/event with a mindful approach to gratitude 

1. Receive and accept what’s given from reality—choose to embrace some aspect of it or the experience as a gift in your own reality (the parts of life you have domain/agency over)
2. Consider what the gift does for you
3. Consider what the gift says about the giver and situation
4. express heartful thanks
   [emotionally sincere to the giver/situation--if the situation is very ambiguous, try to make it very tangible, rationale will follow below in #4]

[existential](2) "You always have choices, even at the moment before death" -my mom supposedly quoting from a marine

Resolve to broader or principled commitments in life, and that we have opportunities to live moments that are a culmination of our choices. I ask/answer three questions to myself:

1) what are 3 choices you can make right now?
2) what is the courageous choice?
3) what are you willing to die for?

It might be counterintuitive and you don't have to share those answers, but it makes a wildly emotional and complex mystery a bit easier to relate to when you frame it in the strategic positive.

[paradigmatic](3) Clarify your relationship to the problem on a systemic level & vice versa
How you can make meaningful impact or intervention with the overarching issue from where you are.

From there, try to collaborate with others (teammates is a great place to start) since I guarantee someone else in the world is also thinking about the same thing from another angle.

[systemic](4) I'll also point you to systems thinking, the notion of "Structure & Agency", and risk governance for navigating complex challenges--no need to get too caught up in the details, it its heart, the two feed into one another:

Structure (environment, institutions ,etc.) influence individual behavior.
Agency (you! your community & capacity to leverage/mobilize it) can influence Structure (the environment).


If music and stories make it easier to remember, there's also the phrase "emotive mechanics":
https://medium.com/hocma-the-science-of-the-heart/emotive-mechanics-in-east-detroit-23a9272d85a1#.ef6kkaq73

It's easier to explain rather than read but here's a guide--also the rationale behind tangible acts for gratitude:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6ZWASyBqmHHcGFyVkxWNTEyYTA/view

On recent events, I've mixed feelings about sharing super widely or among acquaintances as it's an early-stage mix of exercise for myself & outreach experiment. Here's how I thought about gun violence with intent to intervene on a systems level--having ways to look at or even frame something as a problem implicates that solutions exist for resolving it: https://iandtran.wordpress.com/2015/12/04/stakes-is-higher-with-cake/

I'd be glad to chat or do a hangout if you'd like to talk. Be well, we're here for you, and take care of yourself in any case.
Ian D. Tran