In reality, when people get angry, they'll do it in whatever way seems to suit their needs.
The only way people can really determine what's "appropriate" is to decide from within whether they believe their actions will align with their values, and if their actions also align with the mutually agreed upon (or yet-to-be-established) parameters of the relationship.
At the same time, having worked with angry people often, myself and family included, I believe I've found a few ways that can make it a little more dignified and mature. In the spirit of living the life I wish already existed in the world, I hope the following guidelines are helpful for you and anyone else you care about.
The only way people can really determine what's "appropriate" is to decide from within whether they believe their actions will align with their values, and if their actions also align with the mutually agreed upon (or yet-to-be-established) parameters of the relationship.
At the same time, having worked with angry people often, myself and family included, I believe I've found a few ways that can make it a little more dignified and mature. In the spirit of living the life I wish already existed in the world, I hope the following guidelines are helpful for you and anyone else you care about.
When angry, you either:
1) Know yourself and the situation accurately (it may take some time to calm down and careful re-examination)
Then: Confront the issue as you recognize it so that the other party/parties can work toward resolving the issue.
2) Don't know what's going on within yourself and/or the situation but need to express yourself
If you need to express your frustration and have yet to figure out exactly what needs to be articulated for other people to engage
Then: Create clear parameters for what and how you choose to express your anger so that other people can better engage or avoid you as you get yourself grounded. Otherwise, it becomes toxic as other people around you don't know how to appropriately respond to your behavior and it risks escalating the situation.
Being aware of both choices conscientiously choosing one of them are the only mature actions I'm aware of at this time.
If/when someone capable of and consents to doing either or both of the above but fails to do so in-the-moment:
Kindly maintain shared responsibility and integrity by helping or reminding them of their choices, to act as their better self, and in the interest of the greater relationship you share.
Return and resume humane resolution when things calm down. After all, you'll probably wish someone would do the same with you if you were in a similar situation and cared about them.
The only judgment needed happens from within, not upon one another. It may be applied internally, and to the relationship, but never imposed upon the other individual.
Kindly maintain shared responsibility and integrity by helping or reminding them of their choices, to act as their better self, and in the interest of the greater relationship you share.
Return and resume humane resolution when things calm down. After all, you'll probably wish someone would do the same with you if you were in a similar situation and cared about them.
The only judgment needed happens from within, not upon one another. It may be applied internally, and to the relationship, but never imposed upon the other individual.
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